i *heart* lighting

the GE lighting institute completely rocked!!! it was amazing... i learned so much, and saw lots of neat things... wow... i can't wait to go back!!! the bad thing is, i'm still dreamy about lighting... so i haven't wanted to do any of my real work since i've returned... hehe...

well, the walk is just a few days away... i'm a little bit nervous, but mostly very excited!!! this past weekend, i trained in the rain... it wasn't fun, so i'm hoping for nice weather... i'll let ya know how it goes... wish me luck!

Cleveland Rocks!

okay, so i just got that from a song, i don't really know... but i'm about to find out... yep, i'll be in cleveland for the rest of this week... going to the GE Lighting Institute (woooooo... everyone act impressed)... the itinerary seems pretty full/busy, so i doubt i'll get to explore much of the city... and it's going to be cold... but i brought my walking shoes anyway... at the very least, i can hop on the treadmill at the hotel gym...

oh, and happy belated easter to everyone! I hope the Easter Bunny was good to you... he completely missed my house (but i live with a jewish woman, so i really didn't expect to be on Mr. Bunny's list this year)... my mom didn't even send me a basket (of course, she didn't do baskets for my siblings either)... but i'm glad i didn't have all that sugary easter candy to fight off, so i guess having a non-traditional easter wasn't such a bad thing...

the cat's outta the bag...

yep... i couldn't hold it in any longer, and chris knows his surprise... well, he knows that i've been working out a lot, and eating healthy, and that i look a little different... but he doesn't know the amount lost, or how different i look... so the actual sight of me might still be a little surprising... i'm so horrible at keeping surprises a secret for long periods of time... well, surprises and secrets that begin with me anyway... if someone else tells me something, i'm really good at keeping my mouth shut, but for some reason i can't keep quiet when it's my surprise/secret... it's kinda like when i was younger and playing hide-and-seek... anytime the seeker would get close to me, i would start giggling, and give myself away... hehe... i was horrible at that game... anyway, now i have another supporter in my corner for my journey...

oh, and a sad update on the gossip i reported earlier... my sister and josh have officially called off the wedding, the engagement, and the relationship... josh had become such a part of the family, it will be hard not seeing him around... hopefully they'll take some time off and then try to work things out when they've both cooled down...

training snafu

well, today we only made it 2.5 miles before autumn got really sick and we had to stop... kind of disappointing, but i understand when your body just says "no more"... it was really hot today (80 degrees by 9am), and she ate a power bar a little too quickly, and that combination did not agree with her...

it's getting hotter outside, so i think i'm going to do my walking tapes to get some more miles in today... yeah...

gossip...

my sister's wedding has been postponed... i don't have a time frame on the postponement, nor do i have a lot of details as to why this decision was made... i just know that she wasn't happy with the status quo, and decided it was time for a change...

in other news, tomorrow, i'm walking 21.5 miles!!! it's going to be GREAT!!! i may not be able to move on sunday, but i'm gonna do it!!! (can you tell, i'm really trying to psyche myself up for this???)

and... just 5 more weeks till chris is here!!! i'm getting super excited about that! and then we're going to indiana... that's gonna be GREAT fun too!!!

hormones are a biatcha!

i haven't felt like this since i was a teenager... this is crazy... my face is a wreck, i'm way emotional (i started crying on my drive home because somehow i had convinced myself that i'm making chris go broke! which i know is not true), and today, i could have ate my weight in reese's peanut butter cups... lol... and i did have more sweet stuff than normal today, it was like i couldn't control myself... i hope i get back to my regular princess self soon, because i don't know how many more days of this i can handle... lol... i think i'll just go to bed and try to sleep it off...

aches and pains

i feel like someone used my bum as a punching bag... lol... my muscles hurt like crazy from my walk yesterday... almost 18 miles... just a few small blisters... but my hips were killing me... i know i need to sit down and rest more often (which i will be doing on the actual Walk)... but for these training routes, often there is no place to sit down... i guess if it came down to it, i could just sit on the sidewalk, but that's just strange... and people around here spit on the sidewalks... ewww...

i'm still walking slow today, but hopefully, i can get in a couple of miles tonight and stretch out those muscles... and i'll be all better by tomorrow... and certainly ready to tackle 20 miles this coming weekend!!!

men... can't live without 'em

okay... so i got an email this morning that made me cry a bit... in a good way... i know that i am loved... and respected... and i'm going to be a priority... and now i'm all springy for my walk today!

yay!

men!

well, i've been stood up for the last time... you would think that after 4.5 years, i would have gained more respect and be more of a priority than i am... i'm not giving up on the relationship, but i am stating that i will not stand for this type of treatment... i realize that i'm not able to be there, and having friends who are there is important... but they aren't the ones who have been supportive through the hard times for the past several years... and they probably aren't planning on being around in another 10-15 years either... i don't ask to be put first... i realize that his job comes first, and then his family should be next... but, dammit, if i'm not in the top three, that's not cool... what happens if i were to find a job and be able to move there??? would it still be the same??? and why am i even trying to find a job there anyway - if i'm not a priority, why would i want to move somewhere just to be treated this way???

i had a dream last weekend that really shook me up... sort of like the dreams i was having before i found out crap was going on in NC... it's strange how dreams can tell you things that maybe you're afraid to admit in real life...

*sigh* i think i'm more hurt than angry this time... and i don't really know what to do... i always feel like a bitch when i call him out on being a jerk, and i hate doing it... but if i don't, then he just continues to be a jerk, and hurts me even more... i'm just afraid that one day, he's going to get tired of me "bitching"...

i've done so well at building my confidence lately, but tonight, it's nowhere to be found... blah... i should probably get some sleep... i do have a long walk tomorrow that starts early... maybe a few miles will clear my head, and i'll figure out what to do...

new hair do

so, as most of you know, i decided to donate my hair to Locks of Love... and now i've got some short hair!!! just look at the pics (these aren't the ones my mom took, they were super blury)...